"Ok, that didn't work out so well. Please, please, if you have unresolved issues with substance abuse or haven't come to grips with the demons from your past, I will get down on my knees and pray with you, but I don't want to date you. I'm not perfect by any means, but I'm finally at a place in life where the drama seems to be in the rearview mirror. I'm hoping that you are too. I'm searching for a woman that can be a true partner, not someone looking for a white knight. Someone who is naturally happy with herself and her life. Someone filled with the Holy Spirit who is trying their best to walk with God. Someone who is reeeally quick, who I can volley non sequiturs back and forth with and when one of us can't think of one it's fifteen - love. Someone who is outgoing and gregarious, or to paraphrase one of my dad's old sayings, "she could have fun in a paper bag". (I love old sayings, by the way) I'm hoping to meet you soon!"
Excerpted from "That's a Jenn Story", June 21,2011 post. "Dudes, Really?"
http://www.thatsajennstory.com/
"2. What are you saying when you put “Drama free” in your tag-line? Are you trying to tell me that you will not break down and cry at every little thing? Or are you trying to tell me you can’t handle it if I get emotional? And if you can’t, why not? There’s “burned before” and there’s “afraid of one’s own emotions.” Probably in either case, we all need therapy. I usually assume that if I have to wonder about this, the guy in question would consider me dramatic and therefore I should steer clear."
My reply -
Having been on a lot of first dates, I’ll take a stab at number 2. There’s a code here that mainly applies to people who’ve been through a divorce. For me, drama free means that you’re at a place in life where you’ve come to grips with your past, and you’re looking forward to the future. It doesn’t mean you can’t shed a tear, or have a bad day. Most of the men and women on the site are divorced. Our world is just getting back to normal, we would rather not date someone who’s life looks like the break on a game of 9 ball. A good example of drama is the ever popular first date question “Why did you get divorced?” If the answer is an eyebrow singeing forty minute diatribe of what that SOB did to me, drama is alive and well. Google image the old Maxell “Blown Away” poster, you’ll see how it feels. You can’t deny the raw pain that goes with divorce, but it needs time to heal, or at least scar over. Unfortunately, too many people try to self medicate with a new relationship. IMHO they should be in a DivorceCare group learning a healthy, Christian way to cope, and not a Christian Dating website.
1 comment:
"Unfortunately, too many people try to self medicate with a new relationship." this is so true, this observation. many people just grab whoever is within the closest proximity, thinking this is the antidote to make me feel loved again...but this is soo wrong, it is just the needy self, crying and just reaching out for a warm body for comfort. it is good to stay on one's own after a breakup. that is just being responsible.
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